How do you know if you are a lesbian? If you have been wondering about this question, chances are you might be a lesbian. Let’s dig into this article to understand your sexuality better.
As some of you might know, sexuality is a path, not a phase. As such it could take a little time for you to discover your real sexual interests. It is, in fact, your life, so enjoy it! So, when you are not sure how you really feel about somebody or specific sex, you might wonder how to tell whether you are a lesbian or a bisexual.
If this is the situation, you may be wondering how you feel about other females. At the same time, you might also have a question if you have any sexual feelings for males or not. So, if this is your path, it is indeed time you learned the most telling indications that you are a lesbian.
Table of Contents
- Key Takeaway
- Sexuality Is A Highly Personal Matter
- So, What Does It Mean to Be Lesbian?
- How Do I Know If I’m Lesbian?
- So, Am I Normal If I Am a Lesbian?
- To Whom Should I Tell?
- How Can I Find?
- You might be a lesbian if you have been questioning yourself about your sexuality. But you might also be bisexual at the same time.
- If you are interested in only females in terms of physical, romantic, and emotional feelings, then you are probably a lesbian.
- No one can tell you precisely who you are, apart from you. So, take your time and find your true sexuality gradually.
Sexuality Is A Highly Personal Matter
The truth is that a few folks haven’t ever fully understood their sexuality. One might make the argument, even so, that all those individuals are missing out on having lived a real and genuine life when they don’t understand their sexuality. The issue here is that this matter has never been simple to confront, much less even figure out for yourself.
The fact is that your sexuality is an important aspect of who you really are.
You might also be aware that it is individual to you, and nobody else is able to tell you what your sexuality actually is. In fact, this is actually true for most people. You could be starting to feel perplexed and doubtful, but this is simply an indication that you want to take your time and slow down a little bit more to fully understand your real sexuality.
You are not required to hurry to place a tag on yourself. We have seen a few folks haven’t ever worn labels on themselves and are totally acceptable with it. Everything that counts in the end is that you are living a life that is authentic to you.
There is no doubt, even so, that recognizing your sexuality would then give you the liberty to begin discovering life in the manner that is most comfortable for you, in every aspect of your life.
So, What Does It Mean to Be Lesbian?
The meaning of lesbian, like that of other sexual identity groups, differs a little bit depending on the individual who is identifying.
According to Jordan Underwood, a nonbinary lesbian, fat militant, content creator, and model, The most appropriate description of a lesbian in historical past is a non-man who truly loves, dates, as well as f*cks other non-males.
The statement offered earlier in this section is much more expressly gender-inclusive than the description provided for lesbians.
According to Vanderbilt University’s LGBTQ+ information center, lesbian typically refers to a female who has a sexual and or romantic orientation toward females. In addition, a few nonbinary individuals describe this word as well.
GLAAD identifies it as a female who has a long-term romantic, physical, or sentimental appeal to other females.
How Do I Know If I’m Lesbian?
You were either gay or straight a decade ago. It was, in fact, our sexual orientation choices. But nowadays, folks often recognize a wide range of sexual orientations.
You could be straight, gay, asexual, pansexual, or any combination of the above. Even if having more classifications of sexuality is wonderful, it could also be a little bit daunting when scrambling to determine where you actually accommodate.
Even so, as previously stated, you are not required to classify or label yourself. It’s completely okay if you are unsure about your sexual interests right now. Simply take your time. Nobody would tell you that you have to make a decision right away and tell the world it to everybody. Who said being sexual was simple?
The following statements would then assist you in determining whether you are a lesbian. Even so, keep in mind that bobbing along during just several focuses will not provide you with an actual conclusion. In other words, you will understand precisely that when you actually feel it in your emotional core.
If you are trying to find an answer, this should help you in getting started.
- You have had doubts about your sexuality
If you have doubts about your sexuality, you are probably not straight.
And if you are wondering whether you are bisexual or a lesbian, then it is a reasonably good indicator that you are not heterosexual. It is completely easy to understand that you would not be requesting the above concerns if you were straight.
- You discover yourself drawn to females
You might be wondering, yes, sure, but that might still imply that you possibly be bisexual. So, here is another issue: are you also attracted to males?
If you have sexual feelings for both females and males, you are most likely bisexual. On the flip side, if you do have sexual feelings for females but not for males, then you might be a lesbian.
The confusion here arises when you consider that it is flawlessly acceptable to have appeal for a female on occasion, sometimes even when you are straight. It is, in fact, not necessarily sexual; more often than not, you appreciate and respect her, and your emotions get to be mixed up with another thing.
The greatest suggestion is to take this as a possible indicator simply but to seek out additional proof.
- Your sexual desires revolve around females
Once more, this does not automatically entail that you are a lesbian. It may also imply you are bisexual, and yet if you solely dream about females, then you are probably a lesbian.
You can indeed be straight and dream about females at the same time. If females dominate your thinking, you may be a lesbian.
- You are more at ease with the lesbian community
Perhaps you have visited a lesbian bar and did feel more at ease and accepted than you would in a straight bar. Certain aspects of the ambiance and atmosphere there often cause you to feel integrated, almost as though you belong.
So, if you are a lesbian, then you will most likely enjoy the community and culture there.
- You admire males but are not attracted to them in terms of sexual
We could all respect somebody who appears well-dressed. Needless to say, you may see an appealing guy and think he is actually good-looking.
But when you encounter him, you do not really feel any sexual attraction or impulses. If you are not sexually attracted to any sex apart from females, then you might be a lesbian.
- You investigate females
You are not looking at males while seated in a restaurant or strolling down the sidewalk. You are just looking at ladies. If you are looking at another female’s buttocks or midriff and fantasizing about what it will feel like to have your fingers all across her, then you might be a lesbian.
When you take a gander at a guy, you should not do the exact same thing. Yeah, sure, in this case, you are most likely a lesbian.
- Not all rom-coms are created equal
You won’t find yourself involved in the fairytale ending with the man whenever you are watching a chick-flick. You just wish she had an occasion with another female and made the decision that a relationship with a man is not really for her. Rather, you wish she meets up with her most significant female mate.
- Your mates inform you
In case your pals tell you that you look more like a male than a female, or if they question your sexuality, it could be an indication that you are not straight.
Your mates are not really joking with you. They are trying to tell you since they believe it. They have an emotion you are not totally straight.
In fact, this does not necessarily imply that you are a lesbian, yet you could be bisexual. This provides an excellent place to start determining whether or not you are a lesbian.
- You really liked it when you kissed a woman
Perhaps you have had the opportunity to kiss another female. And the sensation didn’t even leave you. You have likely kissed a guy previously, but it did feel remarkably separate from a female.
This does not necessarily imply that you are a lesbian, yet once more, you might still be bisexual. But the thing here is that you are, in fact, not straight if you get sexually stimulated when kissing a girl.
- You have developed feelings for a female
She might be your closest buddy or a female you encountered at a cafe, yet the thing here is that you encountered her and fell in love with her. Assume the relationship was doomed, and how do you feel presently?
If you have already had a relationship with a female, it indicates that you are interested in females. Even so, if you keep going to date females and favor them over males, then you might be a lesbian.
- You don’t spend much time with males
If the majority of your mates are female and the males in your life are gay, you might be a lesbian. You find yourself often encircling yourself with females for support and companionship. Your best mates are all lesbians. As well as, the males who hang out alongside you are not also straight.
- You think of females when you date males
You may be on a real date with a man, but you aren’t thinking about him at all during your date. You are, instead, fixated on the female across the desk.
If you prefer talking to your closest buddy or seeing the girl you encountered at the nightclub to go out on a date with a guy, you should consider whether you are really interested in men.
- You like to hook up with females
Regardless of whether they are straight or not, females seem to be far more inclusive and touchy-feely to one another. But do you prefer their feelings to that of a guy?
Do you like to hook up with females or engage in eye contact with them at a cafe? If the feeling of a female arouses you more than the feeling of a guy, you might be a lesbian or, at the minimum, bisexual.
- Do threesomes pique your interest?
If you are presently in a relationship with a straight guy and are at a loss about your sexual orientation, you should consider your favorite style of imaginings. Do you dream about being in a threesome, especially with another female?
Do you become more sexually excited when you imagine a female in bed with you? If your preferred sexual fetish as a “straight” female is a threesome or sleeping with another female, you are probably bisexual, if not a lesbian.
- You have tried and failed to fit in
In fact, you have been in a relationship with guys and believe you are actually pleased. Everything appears to be in order. And yet you cannot shake the sense that there is something wrong with your sexual life.
You date guys since you believe that being heterosexual is the “correct” thought to do. You check all the “straight” items as somebody tried to tell you when you were pretty young that being such a lesbian actually intended, you had to act and look distinct from other females. *complete nonsense, you must know!* You know deep down that only women arouse and spur your sexual thoughts, and you decide to keep these things hidden from everybody else in your life.
- You hook up with females on the internet
You have experimented with having a fling with females online, on social networking sites, or in online forums, whether as a female or as a male, simply to see how it starts to feel. And, at points in time, the sexual high it provides is utterly different from anything you have ever encountered sexually.
- You are obsessed with female porn
You have watched porn *just like everybody else, and don’t feel bad! * and your gaze is strongly attracted to lesbian porn.
It was wonderment initially, but you immediately learned that heterosexual male-female porn, in reality, does not really stir up you as strongly as lesbian porn does. Sometimes even when you do watch heterosexual porn, chances are that you simply pay attention to the woman and still hardly glimpse at the guy who is performing the action.
So, Am I Normal If I Am a Lesbian?
When females realize they are attracted to other females, they often wonder if they are heterosexual (widely known as straight) or lesbian (also known as same-sex particularly drawn). Lesbians, as previously stated, frequently express their primary physical, sentimental, and intimate feelings for females. In fact, a lot of females reported experiencing lesbian thoughts and feelings or emotions but did not identify as gay or lesbian.
So, being a lesbian, in reality, is entirely natural.
- It is actually vital to keep in mind that individuals are naturally drawn to individuals of the same sex.
- Being a lesbian is not only normal but also healthy as well.
To Whom Should I Tell?
It might also be beneficial to reach a close relative initially, as they are more highly likely to be appreciative and could become an alliance that could really reach others. In fact, it is also important to bear in mind that a negative response could indeed change with time. In particular, this is often true for those who have never had access to LGBTQ learning or publicity.
Make absolutely sure you just come out when you honestly would like to do that. Take command of the scenario and keep in mind that it could be a procedure that you could do in the future rather than an occasion.
In fact, you are not required to come out. Whereas a lot of folks have found it to be a massive relief, others would not like to come out, deciding to consider their sexuality as a totally private issue. As such, it would be entirely up to you to come out or not. But we highly recommend only coming out when you are capable and relaxed.
Coming out, in fact, might be an incredibly wonderful experience, and being genuine with family, mates, and coworkers could really feel relieving. You could also serve as a positive example for others who are thinking about coming out.
In addition, a lot of folks are concerned about how others will respond to you when you decide to come out. The primary worries are just that they are unlikely to be welcomed or that they would be interpreted in different ways. As such, if anybody comes out to you, among the best reactions is to tell them that you still feel the same way about them.
Fears and anxieties might differ depending on your age. Young folks might be more particularly worried about their peers’ responses and acknowledgment when they come out. What’s more, they are even worried about whether or not they will be harassed or not. Elderly adults, particularly those in heterosexual relationships and possibly with kids, could really face unique quandaries.
Keep in mind to reassure your kids that you remain the same individual, that you always love them. What’s more, you should remember that you continue to have the same feelings about them when you come out to them. When at all feasible, get your ex-support spouse and tell the kids together.
Enable individuals to be astonished and really need time to process the stories. In addition, it is crucial to be delicate to their emotions as well. It is recommended to choose a silent, calm moment to tell individuals so that you have plenty of time to discuss it. Note that coming out could be a procedure to do in the long run rather than an occasion.
If friends and relatives respond poorly, this is not inevitably how they will always think. Allow them some time to adjust to the news. First, responses are not really long-lasting since they can be changed as time goes by.
If you are extremely apprehensive about telling your friends or relatives about your real sexual orientation, think about writing them a letter and then following up with a visit or meeting. This gives the person who received time to adjust to the news while still keeping the situation under control.
The individual releasing the news must always maintain control of the situation. As a result, it is really critical to consider this when deciding how to proceed. Although you should use whatever channel feels best to you, for instance, face-to-face, phone conversation, message, mailing, social platforms. In the end, it is actually vital to remember that it certainly provides more confidentiality than others.
If you do not really wish for everybody to understand everything at once, then take into account using more traditional communication channels. Make sure to inform them that you intend to come out to a member of the family at a moment when you start sharing your news.
If you are unsure whether specific important individuals in your life will respond about your sexuality, it is a wise option to first establish a support channel all over you. Coming out to an individual you confide in first and are relatively sure will be appreciative is one option. Also, don’t forget to bring that individual with you if absolutely required when you decide to come to other people. This is because that folk can help you a lot in that situation.
If you seriously doubt somebody else you understand is the LGBT community, keep in mind that you are unable – and you should not – to compel them to come out. Having said that, you could still create a setting in which they feel comforted and secure to do so.
How Can I Find?
Even though there are no foolproof methods for determining if a female is really into you, there are still a few clear indicators to help you recognize this. In fact, it can be challenging to tell if a female is simply being courteous or if she has feelings for you.
If they appreciate you, bisexual and lesbian females might go out of their way to emphasize their sexual orientation. For instance, she could discuss with you what it means to be LGBTQ+ and how she initially came out. This is simply one indication that she actually has affection for you.
Indications That a Female Likes You
Among the most popular indicators that a girl who likes you would do is start making direct eye contact. So, once you look in her direction, see if you can capture her looking back at you. In fact, these are all indicators that she is fascinated by.
Even so, it would not necessarily be in a romantic sense at first. It is, in the end, really critical to give heed to the context to figure out whether these are indications that the lesbian at the cafe is interested in you or if it is simply a staff at work starting your way.
Also, keep an eye out for any physical movements she makes. In particular, if she makes an effort to be with you, she may be attempting to get pretty close to you. It might, in reality, occur in a variety of circumstances as follows:
- Observing a female who is sitting next to you in work faculty meetings
- Currently, having a buddy hold the nomination next to or in front of you
- Getting closer to you in person on a regular basis to inquire about something or begin a conversation
- Figuring out ways to gently touch you, such as on the knee
Correspondingly, if a female consistently makes an effort to communicate with you, she may be attempting to let you realize that she really likes you. For instance, she may always stop by your place at the workplace to check in on a task that might quickly be discussed via chat room or email.
Maybe this girl has always been present at your baseball games, at the bar at which you work as a bartender, or even outside of your lecture hall. All of these are indications that she might be interested in you. It might also be another colleague, leader, or school friend. In such circumstances, concentrate on the specifics and trust your instincts.
Signs She Is Interested in You
As a girl might like you, she may find herself continuously laughing at your gags. If she performs these actions (particularly if you think they are not really humorous at all), she might be into you. A further indication would be if she is more open and looks for various methods to touch you physically. Trying to touch your hand while requesting to see your bracelet, moving closer to you on the chair, and squeezing your shoulder as you pass by her are all instances of physical touch.
Needless to say, if she is continuously commending you, she’s most likely hooking up with you. Flirting contains nice comments such as “you have beautiful eyes” or “you have such a lovely smile.” If she compliments you on your clothes or sneakers, on the flip side, it is feasible that she is simply being cordial. Take into account whether she is going to act in a particular way forward to you or whether she is an overly sensitive and flirtatious individual in particular.
Other indications that she may like you
- Below are a few common and “clear” signs that she, as a lesbian, might like you.
- She is talking smack about her queer knowledge, what your encounter was kind of like, how it feels to come out, as well as other gender-related topics.
- Noticing that she is hugely interpersonally or physically weird all over you. In particular, she could be nervous or humble.
- Trying to remember the minor details you say. For instance, you might notice that she carries up the information you started telling her in the old days. In fact, this may be an indication that she is making an attempt to learn more about you.
- She might activate body contact, particularly in more intimate situations. In fact, this contains affiliative and romantic expressions. Some of them include assisting you in putting on your pendant, repairing your hair, and attempting to hold or snuggle you.
Pay Attention to Your Instincts
In fact, it is difficult to tell if anybody likes you as a buddy or as anything more. If she is continuously making a joke around with you, she may have a fantastic sense of humor or is using her puns to break the ice. If she probably likes you, on the flip side, she will most likely act on it by pranking, kidding, and/or having a fling with you.
Finally, it would always be best if you trust your instincts. The vitality between two individuals is generally perceptible. Feel for it, but keep in mind that you will never know if it is just one-sided or both-sided. Needless to say, the one and only way to know for sure if she really likes you or not is to ask her directly. When you get affectionate, even so, things start to look up.
Set appropriate limits. If you want to see if a colleague is into you or not, request her to hang from outside of the workplace. Do not really hit on her at the workplace because it is so totally unacceptable and makes other people unhappy.
Whatever you decide, proceed with caution. In comparison, a lot of indications indicate that she likes you. But, always take your time and then get to know her nicer. Or else, you will run the risk of performing something hasty or stupid. And at last, you could wish to inquire as to whether she is bisexual or lesbian. She might not be aware of it yet, but if you come out to her at the beginning, she could respond in a provocative way.